The Bitch is Back!

Now that I have a follower on this brain fart of a blog, It occurs to me that it may be high time to quit whining about my ex and my sad pathetic winter. Henceforth, I am all sunshine and daisies. I will no longer be a Montauk Exile as of this weekend because I refuse to be exiled from Montauk. I am the type of girl who will break your window if you steal my shit, or spend my New Year's staggering through the streets screaming "I'll challenge you to a dual with pistols" if you have crossed me in love. I belong in Montauk, just like the rest of you freaks. I have a repugnant sort of charm about me.

Hello follower. Thanks for following.

At any rate, this weekend was a blessedly happy one in Montauk and elsewhere -- I don't know about anyone else but my mood correllates pretty directly to the weather, and the weather this weekend had me absolutely convinced that we are all going to be just fine and make tons of money this summer doing what it is we do best -- catering to the needs of other people for just long enough to get enough money to go out and party, and doing it all again until we are wretchedly sick and unhappy and think every tourist should be shot on sight.

But they shouldn't be shot on sight, because they are the reason we survive. Let us never forget that. These people are our bread and butter. So when I heard chatter at Robert Moses on Saturday about "taking a ride out to Montauk soon," I was absolutely delighted about the prospect of stimulating our little economy. I want people to come out here and spend their money, so that you and yours can survive. And I swear to God, I am going to be sooo hospitable to them this year. Really.

Montauk doesn't always attract the kind of truly sickening people as East Hampton -- this is a family vacation spot, after all. Let us all hope and pray that since upIsland families might not be able to afford their annual trips to Aruba this year, they will spend their hard-earned, working class dollars in our cozy hamlet this summer. Let us rejoice at the prospect of pedestrians meandering aimlessly through our streets, and of multiple orders of chicken fingers at our restaurants! I'll take what I can get in the midst of a recession.

Do not, under any circumstances, tell any of these people that the lighthouse is "a short walk from town." They are spending their money here, and we need it. Be nice.

I am not suggesting by any means that we go so far as to welcome the Surf Lodge, but even still, I heard a rumor that they're going broke and might actually be hiring local bands as a result. We could have fun listening to local bands. I say we all get in our kayaks and float around the pond in the periphery with our own booze to hear the shows for free, like people do in the cove outside of Jones' Beach.

Maybe when it's 40 degrees and raining next week, I'll be pouty again, but for the time being, I'm riding a wave of optimism. Let's hope it continues into a profitable summer for all, and that the bad economy weeds out the weak. I'm all about taking back the town this year, and painting it all sorts of bright and pretty colors while I'm at it.